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What Conversations Do Bereaved Parents Remember?

Richard D. Goldstein

Objective: Memories of conversations with health professionals are among the outcomes in the end-of-life care of children. Little is known about their nature or content. We conducted interviews with bereaved parents to determine whether there were conversations with healthcare professionals that they continue to revisit, positive or negative, five years following their child’s death, and consider their themes. Methods: Parents of children who had died aged 1 month to 11 years were interviewed, using a focused ethnographic approach. Thematic analysis was performed on interview transcripts.

Results: Families recalled specific negative (10/16) and positive encounters (11/16). Positive memories exhibited empathic protectiveness, personal disclosure by health care providers, and authenticity. Negative memories revealed medicalized insensitivity to the family’s experience and emotional distance.

Conclusions: Bereaved parents had memories of specific conversations with healthcare professionals years following their child’s death. They did not recall family meetings or technically-oriented moments, but moments marked by relational aspects. Insensitivity or lack of empathy were negative themes.

Empathic protectiveness, personal disclosure, and authenticity at moments in care created enduring positive memories. The findings support the importance of humanistic involvement with patients, demonstrating the enduring impact of healthcare professionals in critical life events.